Mementos

My wife and I are doing the everyday chores on a Sunday and anticipating the coming start to the New Year. Back to work, back to school, and back to the routine.

So there I am folding clothes and keeping the baby from tearing up my nice neat stacks when I run across the blanket.

  When Sophia was just born there was a blanket that I remember being very fond of wrapping her in. It is very soft with bumblebees on it. Every time I see this blanket I am transported to a time when she was no bigger than my hand and I just smile.

There are Items like this everywhere in my life. I walked around my apt just to get a glimpse of a few.

The plaque.    

My grandfather carved this for my father many years ago. I ended up with it before my father passed away. It is located in my kitchen and every time I see it I am reminded of a man younger than I am now. Sitting on a lawn chair in shorts, drinking an iced tea, smoking a cigarette, laughing at a joke only he got. It is my most prized memory next to the birth of my daughter.

The cane.  

Hand carved Ebony wood with a solid silver top and lead base. A priceless piece though I know it has significant value. This Cane has the ability to evoke many fond moments. Most of these are of random trips my mother and I would take to see my Great Uncle Lewis (His Cane).  I would sit in a corner of a nursing home as he would tell amazing stories of a time I could only dream of. The other memory is of the day I was given such a unique treasure. My Aunt Shelia was cleaning up after the death of her husband and I was visiting her to help and console when she presented me with the cane. I was honored and to this day cannot remember much of the trip other than that one moment.

The Picture.  

The picture was from a time I almost do not even know anymore.  My mother was taking photography classes and snapped this picture of my father. The bug in the background was my first car and I can remember the day we picked it up. Him and I were driving what I thought was a random trip when all of a sudden it turned in to my first car buying journey. I thought I had found the greatest treasure on earth that day.

The Shirt.  

The day was March 28^th, 2001. I made my way through a series of gated corridors’ until I was finally free after six years of incarceration. Once I was released from the clutches of my mothers' hug, she began to pull the prison garb from my back. She stated she could not spend another minute looking at me in such attire. Once we got back to the hotel I was given a get out of jail free card (it is in a box) and this shirt.  I cannot wear the shirt anymore for fear of tearing it. The fabric is so thin it now has random holes on the sleeves and collar from too much wear in the first four or five years. But to this day I still reach in my closet and pull it out to remember how it felt on that day and how happy I am to be free.

I hope in twenty or thirty years you too will have such mementos to enjoy your memories.

Grow up

GROW UP 

Now when I talk about myself, I will generally be harsh and add a few heavy embellishing traits that make me look even worse. I tend to be the hardest critic in my life and find that to be perfectly fine. I have done my fair share of crap and I am certain I have done my share of dirt to other people. I do know however that over the last fifteen years I have strenuously worked at rectifying those wrongs.

I think my biggest frustration is that people only see the crap that is done to them while never paying attention to how they treat other people. I am approached and told something by someone who feels I owe them an apology meanwhile never remembering the bold faced lie they told to me and on me. It is like it never existed. Just because something is not brought up does not make it ok. Did the societal segregation of blacks make it ok to be racist? No! So do not assume,  just because something is not expounded upon does not make it ok. Check yourself first.

That said, Grow up, and clean up your own back yard. And Front for that matter. Stop looking everywhere else and start looking at your self. I know I do and like I said, I am my worst critic. If you feel you are being disrespected and hurt. It is your job to confront the person and explain in a personal one on one manner. If you are not going to do that than shut up sit down and chill the F*&k out. Most of all Keep it to yourself. The rest of us have grown up crap to take care of.

Truth and Friendship

There are always those moments when we as people, humans, or understanding beings are confronted with what seems to be, stupidity. We are faced with a reality that is, at most, unfathomable. People shock and amaze us with such occasions of ignorance we are left utterly speechless. I myself have been guilty of such actions, yet I have reserved myself to working fervently to not make the same mistake twice.

At least not the big ones!

So with every year I grow and in my growth I have come to understand just how insignificant I am. I have come to see how little I truly know. I marvel now at the legacy my father left and the crap my parents put up with. I often think how nice it would be to step back in time and yell at myself or fix the past. NEVER!

Never will it happen and I am glad.

I am the man I am today and see the truth for what it is based on the events of my life. I am AWARE of my world and the people who share it with me.

I see you!

I see you for who you are.

Your insecurities are much like my own.

Your pain is a mirror reflection of my hurts.

You think you are special? You think you are alone?

Wrong!

I became so self absorbed in my life that I could not see anything beyond my own nose. Now I can hardly see why I cared so much for myself.

We choose the life we will lead. We choose to be happy. We choose to fail. We choose to look at others as manipulative pawns in a game of chess.

I choose to embrace you as truth! I embrace the individual much like myself with pain, sorrow, insecurity, happiness, and unique characteristics that make you interesting. I will not however choose to tell you what you want to hear!

I will rise above the need to please and I will accept the fate of friendship for the truth of reality. I would rather stand alone than be surrounded by loneliness. In my reservation to purchase my friends I have found a rare few. A handful of beings that have chosen to assign themselves to a thought process much like my own. They can be trusted. They are true.

They tell me I am wrong and I listen.

They tell me I am weak and they help build me.

They listen when I speak and lift me when I am down.

They are the world I can trust and the people I can truly call,

Friend.

You know who you are and you know your worth. Continue to stand for truth and I will continue to listen.

AND

Thank You!

TIME TESTED

When I first moved to O-town in 2006, I found employment at Starbucks. I was working on building my own business with my father and worked part time at the coffee shop for the insurance.  One of my shift managers at the time was a tall blond with a fiery attitude. She possessed the skills needed to run a crew efficiently and still maintain a great relationship with her co-workers. Not only did she do her job well but also she had been dedicated to the company for eight years. Needless to say I was wondering why she was still there.

I have had this uncanny ability most of my life to see the amazing potential in other people. A perception that seems to exist in most people yet cultivated for the positive in very few. You see, most people like to hate and tear down rather than build the person up. People will trash the person with the most potential or sabotage the chances they have. Very few people will help cultivate and build this potential in others. My mother was a builder. I can recall one person she used to work with and how my mom trained her and cultivated her for her job and then the girl ended up with the job above my mom. This is the sort of thing that gets people mad and has them become haters yet my mother just pushed on to bigger and better things.

Back to that hot blond for a moment and her boss that promoted someone she trained. Instead of topping out at 30k a year and working non-stop for people who do not appreciate the dedication, she took the advice of this guy and quit. She struggled in finding that perfect fit for her but soon ended up at a university where her dedication and brains became recognized almost instantly. Two and a half years later and multiple promotions she is kicking but and taking names. She even amazes herself at times with the accolades she receives from her bosses and peers.

I would love to say this is all about me but I cannot.

The important thing is this woman’s attitude towards herself and any other job she has had. Her head is held higher and her confidence is larger than she ever expected. Every aspect of her life has changed because she began to see what someone else saw already.

This is one person out of the many in my life that I believe in. This is one out of the many successes in my life as well. This tall fiery blond just so happens to be my wife. Nonetheless it is our ability to see people and help foster that confidence that makes us human and compassionate. If we began to foster help instead of hate we just might see the rewards are greater than if we tried to take from everyone. I know this because that hot blonde is now helping me complete my higher education and taking care of me in the process.

That is called REWARD people!!

PAY IT FORWARD>>

Stay Tuned…

What Have We Here

Every now and again the world stops for a brief second and some sort of miracle we witness stupefies us. The older we get the less we tend to pay attention and notice these phenomenon. We begin to write them off as something that happens or we intellectualize the event to bring it to our level.  

Last month we participated in a film festival to produce a movie in thirty days. As the whole process unfolded I began to catch a glimpse of things to come. Most was not positive and yet the positive began to peak through. Every day I could feel that what we were doing was good and on the level to compete against these other production houses. Closer and closer to our deadline and things began to fall apart.

Not everything goes according to plan!!

Before the Lights, Camera, and Action comes the lighting design and storyboards. The shot list and shooting schedule. Actors need to be cast and Bios need to be filled out for the characters. Jobs need to be assigned and props need to be gathered. Schedules need to be set and rearranged. Schedules need to be verified with the rest of the cast and crew and finalizations need to be made. The choice of camera needs to be determined as well as location for shooting and a location release form needs to be procured. Meetings, meetings, and more meetings begin to eat away at time.

When you have only thirty days to export a finished product you need to be aware of shooting and editing and computer graphics and visual graphics. Sound needs to be manipulated and adjusted, and perhaps even Foley needs to be done. Music needs to be put in and adjusted as well.  The export needs to be secured and double-checked. The article needs to leave at this time on this day and no later.

Can I even get a postmark before I leave or do I just trust the post office to send it that night even though they are not open tomorrow and if it gets postmarked for Monday than we lose no matter what?

STRESS, STRESS AND MORE STRESS !

Hindsight!? Was it worth it?

Well, What have we here?

We won something!

As I sit in retrospect I am struck with the whole reason why we set out to compete in the first place. We are young and studious looking to secure our place in this industry. We are eager to find out what works and what needs fixing. We are striving to be players in the film industry not consumers. In the months and years to come you will begin to see our names appear on the big screen. Across the country and the globe you will be forced to stop and recognize the change that took place from now until then. We will become Titans in our own mind and players of a game long dreamt about. So thank you for reading and passing it on. Thank you for watching and passing it on. If you are here for the first time….catch up and pass it on. I guarantee you will not be disappointed.

We didn’t win it all! But, we won something!

 More importantly we learned a ton.

Stay tuned…

So, What did you learn?

One irrefutable truth to life seems to be that no matter how long you are on this earth, you can learn something new every day.  It never ceases to amaze me how much I can learn from people half my age, and much less how much my one year old daughter teaches me. I just wish I could say I learn great and philosophical things. The truth be told, I learn who not to trust or why I felt weary in the first place. I should know by now, to trust my gut and listen to that inner part of my being that says yes or no to me in my head, yet I just can’t stop!

What are you talking about now?

Kids, Slackers, People with no drive!

There is a point where you have to ask yourself; Why am I here? If you fail to answer that question and other people are counting on you……….

Then GO HOME!!!

I do not how to put this any plainer. If you do not have the drive or just show up to go through the motions and have no idea what the motions are…….

GO HOME!

 In fact just go away from me.

Don’t talk to me don’t claim to be my friend and certainly don’t ask me if there are any projects you can work on.  NO THERE ARE NONE, mainly because you don’t know what WORK IS!!!!!!

For the record!

WORK:

 activity involving mental or physical effort done in order to achieve a purpose or result.

such activity as a means of earning income; employment

 a task or tasks to be undertaken; something a person or thing has to do

 something done or made:

 Physics: the exertion of force overcoming resistance or producing molecular change.

 To be engaged in physical or mental activity in order to achieve a purpose or result, esp. in one's job; do work:

Just in case you were stupefied as to the content of that wonderful four letter word. There you have it. Please learn this and see how you may be able to apply it to your life.

For the rest of you I truly am sorry but I think we need to preach this from atop of every mountain and building we can find. I challenge you to hold each other accountable and make sure the next generation is aware that in order to work you must do more than just show up.

Know what you are doing or ask to be taught. Nothing in life is free and if you show up again and act like a moron, well lets just say I will be as blunt as I normally am!

WORK requires effort and knowledge of the job you are performing. If you want to be recognized than you must first know what the hell you are doing.

Ok, ok, I will step away and let that sink in. If you are feeling this offends you then you may need to take a look at your life. If you feel this is funny than you need to stop being the clown. If you feel this is a sermon needing to be preached than you my friend are welcome at my table for dinner.

Just saying!

Action Film Challenge 

& our film

DAMAGED

I am on it!

I am on it!

Never before have I felt such a desire and longing to secure the future for those around me. For the past few months I feel I have been going non-stop. School, family, and outside projects seem to fill every waking moment. I tend to come home for a moment and see my wife just as I am leaving again. 

Yup! That look comes out and I spot it in the corner of her eye! She won’t say anything because we signed up for this and she knows we are working now to enjoy later. The problem is, that there are those around me that just don’t see the same things I do.  Or, perhaps, they just don’t have the same passion for the vision that I do. Either way it is hard to work with those that don’t get it.

Maybe it is because I am older or maybe because I have seen way more than a 36 year old should but either way my passion outshines 99% of them. So far there is one kid (I say that loosely) he is 19 but he has the drive of a 30 year old and the ability to compete with anyone he chooses. He reads, he studies, he competes and he does not whine about what he is doing and nor does he ask for a day off. He is jumping ahead of classes and securing his ability to gain knowledge faster than those around him. Hell, to be honest I look up to him! Never before have I seen such hunger in a young man and never before have I been so impressed.

This is not to say I do not get frustrated with him or even want to strangle him at times. I will say however that I have learned more from this young man than anyone else in a long time. Facts be told my mentor (my father) had me at times wanting to strangle him too. I feel it is the nature of learning. In order to truly respect it you almost need to despise the vessel from which it is being dispensed. My father and I argued yet we always took time to hear what was said. I thank him for beating the issue of respect in me because today I am able to respect someone 17 years my junior.

So why all this explanation of work, work, work, and the slacker with which I am working with.

To be perfectly honest… SALES

On July 15^th a movie that this young man and I made will be on the screen in Tampa, Fl.  Here is the address!

The Screening

11am - 5pm

Sunday, July 15th, 2012

Tampa Pitcher Show

14416 N. Dale Mabry Highway, Tampa, FL - (813) 963-0578

I have a lot of passion for this project only because it is truly my first project outside of school that I have undertaken. This film has been a huge learning experience and I feel this will be the mark that I hold all other personal productions to. So please feel free to come out and support your local filmmaker and student while you are entertained by 20 other films as well.

This is the criteria we had to follow.

1.            30 days to write, shoot, edit, and deliver your 10 minute film
(* at least 10 minutes, but no longer than 15 minutes including credits.)

2.            Any Genre – at least (1) Action scene

3.            Must include each and every unique character, line of dialogue, prop, and situation specified on the first day of the challenge.

4.            Films must be no higher than PG-13
(no nudity, no drug usage, no sex scenes, language appropriate for PG-13)
[To spell it out - the only foul language acceptable is "Hell and Damn"]
Your film has to meet the criteria to be broadcast on local television.

I want to thank you. Between this film (Damaged) and The Magic Voice, to be aired soon we are pushing our craft hard. I am looking forward to doing great things with this young man and I am sure you will look forward to the finished product.

Until next time…