I AM WRONG!

One of my most poignant and memorable moments in life happened when I was a young boy. I had done yet another thing wrong and was yet again in trouble. My father who was no doubt under stress from other outside events unrelating to me went just a little too far in disciplining me. I do not remember the details of what was said, nor do I remember what I did but I do remember the aftermath like it was yesterday.

I retreated to the bathroom which was shared by my sister and I. I began to sob uncontrollably. I was there for maybe a minute or two when a knock came to the door.

Dad "Daniel can you open the door please?" He said in a soft and gentle manner.

I unlocked the door and my father knelt down in front of me grabbing my shoulders as tears fell down his face. He began to apologize and ask for forgiveness as if I had some sort of hold on him. I was none the less shocked and confused by this gesture of humility.

Fast forward about thirty years and I find myself at a kitchen table surrounded by my friends as we talk and socialize of our current events. Jovial attitudes all around, we are continually interrupted by children who seem to not understand the meaning of adult time. My son burst in to the room yet again to ask a question that has already been answered and I yell at him startling him immensely. As the young boy hangs his head and I turn back to the conversation I am met with embarrassing stares all around and a stern look from my wife.

Everything in me wanted to shrug it off. My mind immediately jumped back to that day in the bathroom some thirty years before. I wanted to jump up and secretly tell him I was wrong but knew I would be doing him a disservice. So I returned the boy to the audience of adults and proceeded to eat my words and apologize for my wrong in front of everyone.

Though I may have felt like a heel and been humbled quite a bit, I only hope that one day he understands the significance of self awareness. As parents we often times forget that some of the greatest lessons are not taught by our words but by our actions. I can only pray that in these little things my kids grow up to be effective adults with integrity and honor. I feel the best thing I can do is to emulate my father and let them know I can be wrong.

Food for thought!

Take Care of The Widows

Take Care of The Widows

A few years ago I lost my father in a battle with cancer. No one can ever prepare you for this loss, nor did I foresee just how much I would be affected. During my mourning I took up my camera and started documenting the event following his death. I soon became very aware of how it was affecting those around me and have since become empathetic to those feelings. I began to open my thoughts to where they were and how his death had changed them.

A few months ago I was in conversation with my mom discussing life events. During which she revealed how I had no understanding of the devastating affect my fathers loss has had on her. I begged the question and her answer took me back.

“I was with your father for 38 years and all my adult life. I do not know any other way of living and now have no one to share my daily events with.” She stated in a very somber tone.

Just kids getting married.

I was hit hard with the realization of how alone she really was. It had never crossed my mind just how much I talk to my own wife and share every little detail of our day. I began to image what it would look like to not be able to share our children’s antics or my frustration at work. How would my life look with no one to vent to or laugh with? Where would I get that fulfillment and satisfaction of validation?

These thoughts have haunted me as of late. I feel an overwhelming sense of fear that we do not love our widows and widowers well. I believe it is our job as relational beings to pay attention to our neighbors needs and adjust our lives accordingly. We should not shut them out but rather envelope them into our activities and lives. Help them adjust better into a new understanding of living. Loneliness is a very devastating feeling that can overwhelm us and leave us feeling empty and depressed.

I charge you friends to be proactive and thoughtful of those around you who may be alone. They need our conversation and thoughts. Drop them a line and tell them how much they are worth. It could be the difference between sadness and depression or happiness and self-worth.