Truth and Friendship

There are always those moments when we as people, humans, or understanding beings are confronted with what seems to be, stupidity. We are faced with a reality that is, at most, unfathomable. People shock and amaze us with such occasions of ignorance we are left utterly speechless. I myself have been guilty of such actions, yet I have reserved myself to working fervently to not make the same mistake twice.

At least not the big ones!

So with every year I grow and in my growth I have come to understand just how insignificant I am. I have come to see how little I truly know. I marvel now at the legacy my father left and the crap my parents put up with. I often think how nice it would be to step back in time and yell at myself or fix the past. NEVER!

Never will it happen and I am glad.

I am the man I am today and see the truth for what it is based on the events of my life. I am AWARE of my world and the people who share it with me.

I see you!

I see you for who you are.

Your insecurities are much like my own.

Your pain is a mirror reflection of my hurts.

You think you are special? You think you are alone?

Wrong!

I became so self absorbed in my life that I could not see anything beyond my own nose. Now I can hardly see why I cared so much for myself.

We choose the life we will lead. We choose to be happy. We choose to fail. We choose to look at others as manipulative pawns in a game of chess.

I choose to embrace you as truth! I embrace the individual much like myself with pain, sorrow, insecurity, happiness, and unique characteristics that make you interesting. I will not however choose to tell you what you want to hear!

I will rise above the need to please and I will accept the fate of friendship for the truth of reality. I would rather stand alone than be surrounded by loneliness. In my reservation to purchase my friends I have found a rare few. A handful of beings that have chosen to assign themselves to a thought process much like my own. They can be trusted. They are true.

They tell me I am wrong and I listen.

They tell me I am weak and they help build me.

They listen when I speak and lift me when I am down.

They are the world I can trust and the people I can truly call,

Friend.

You know who you are and you know your worth. Continue to stand for truth and I will continue to listen.

AND

Thank You!

TIME TESTED

When I first moved to O-town in 2006, I found employment at Starbucks. I was working on building my own business with my father and worked part time at the coffee shop for the insurance.  One of my shift managers at the time was a tall blond with a fiery attitude. She possessed the skills needed to run a crew efficiently and still maintain a great relationship with her co-workers. Not only did she do her job well but also she had been dedicated to the company for eight years. Needless to say I was wondering why she was still there.

I have had this uncanny ability most of my life to see the amazing potential in other people. A perception that seems to exist in most people yet cultivated for the positive in very few. You see, most people like to hate and tear down rather than build the person up. People will trash the person with the most potential or sabotage the chances they have. Very few people will help cultivate and build this potential in others. My mother was a builder. I can recall one person she used to work with and how my mom trained her and cultivated her for her job and then the girl ended up with the job above my mom. This is the sort of thing that gets people mad and has them become haters yet my mother just pushed on to bigger and better things.

Back to that hot blond for a moment and her boss that promoted someone she trained. Instead of topping out at 30k a year and working non-stop for people who do not appreciate the dedication, she took the advice of this guy and quit. She struggled in finding that perfect fit for her but soon ended up at a university where her dedication and brains became recognized almost instantly. Two and a half years later and multiple promotions she is kicking but and taking names. She even amazes herself at times with the accolades she receives from her bosses and peers.

I would love to say this is all about me but I cannot.

The important thing is this woman’s attitude towards herself and any other job she has had. Her head is held higher and her confidence is larger than she ever expected. Every aspect of her life has changed because she began to see what someone else saw already.

This is one person out of the many in my life that I believe in. This is one out of the many successes in my life as well. This tall fiery blond just so happens to be my wife. Nonetheless it is our ability to see people and help foster that confidence that makes us human and compassionate. If we began to foster help instead of hate we just might see the rewards are greater than if we tried to take from everyone. I know this because that hot blonde is now helping me complete my higher education and taking care of me in the process.

That is called REWARD people!!

PAY IT FORWARD>>

Stay Tuned…

What Have We Here

Every now and again the world stops for a brief second and some sort of miracle we witness stupefies us. The older we get the less we tend to pay attention and notice these phenomenon. We begin to write them off as something that happens or we intellectualize the event to bring it to our level.  

Last month we participated in a film festival to produce a movie in thirty days. As the whole process unfolded I began to catch a glimpse of things to come. Most was not positive and yet the positive began to peak through. Every day I could feel that what we were doing was good and on the level to compete against these other production houses. Closer and closer to our deadline and things began to fall apart.

Not everything goes according to plan!!

Before the Lights, Camera, and Action comes the lighting design and storyboards. The shot list and shooting schedule. Actors need to be cast and Bios need to be filled out for the characters. Jobs need to be assigned and props need to be gathered. Schedules need to be set and rearranged. Schedules need to be verified with the rest of the cast and crew and finalizations need to be made. The choice of camera needs to be determined as well as location for shooting and a location release form needs to be procured. Meetings, meetings, and more meetings begin to eat away at time.

When you have only thirty days to export a finished product you need to be aware of shooting and editing and computer graphics and visual graphics. Sound needs to be manipulated and adjusted, and perhaps even Foley needs to be done. Music needs to be put in and adjusted as well.  The export needs to be secured and double-checked. The article needs to leave at this time on this day and no later.

Can I even get a postmark before I leave or do I just trust the post office to send it that night even though they are not open tomorrow and if it gets postmarked for Monday than we lose no matter what?

STRESS, STRESS AND MORE STRESS !

Hindsight!? Was it worth it?

Well, What have we here?

We won something!

As I sit in retrospect I am struck with the whole reason why we set out to compete in the first place. We are young and studious looking to secure our place in this industry. We are eager to find out what works and what needs fixing. We are striving to be players in the film industry not consumers. In the months and years to come you will begin to see our names appear on the big screen. Across the country and the globe you will be forced to stop and recognize the change that took place from now until then. We will become Titans in our own mind and players of a game long dreamt about. So thank you for reading and passing it on. Thank you for watching and passing it on. If you are here for the first time….catch up and pass it on. I guarantee you will not be disappointed.

We didn’t win it all! But, we won something!

 More importantly we learned a ton.

Stay tuned…

So, What did you learn?

One irrefutable truth to life seems to be that no matter how long you are on this earth, you can learn something new every day.  It never ceases to amaze me how much I can learn from people half my age, and much less how much my one year old daughter teaches me. I just wish I could say I learn great and philosophical things. The truth be told, I learn who not to trust or why I felt weary in the first place. I should know by now, to trust my gut and listen to that inner part of my being that says yes or no to me in my head, yet I just can’t stop!

What are you talking about now?

Kids, Slackers, People with no drive!

There is a point where you have to ask yourself; Why am I here? If you fail to answer that question and other people are counting on you……….

Then GO HOME!!!

I do not how to put this any plainer. If you do not have the drive or just show up to go through the motions and have no idea what the motions are…….

GO HOME!

 In fact just go away from me.

Don’t talk to me don’t claim to be my friend and certainly don’t ask me if there are any projects you can work on.  NO THERE ARE NONE, mainly because you don’t know what WORK IS!!!!!!

For the record!

WORK:

 activity involving mental or physical effort done in order to achieve a purpose or result.

such activity as a means of earning income; employment

 a task or tasks to be undertaken; something a person or thing has to do

 something done or made:

 Physics: the exertion of force overcoming resistance or producing molecular change.

 To be engaged in physical or mental activity in order to achieve a purpose or result, esp. in one's job; do work:

Just in case you were stupefied as to the content of that wonderful four letter word. There you have it. Please learn this and see how you may be able to apply it to your life.

For the rest of you I truly am sorry but I think we need to preach this from atop of every mountain and building we can find. I challenge you to hold each other accountable and make sure the next generation is aware that in order to work you must do more than just show up.

Know what you are doing or ask to be taught. Nothing in life is free and if you show up again and act like a moron, well lets just say I will be as blunt as I normally am!

WORK requires effort and knowledge of the job you are performing. If you want to be recognized than you must first know what the hell you are doing.

Ok, ok, I will step away and let that sink in. If you are feeling this offends you then you may need to take a look at your life. If you feel this is funny than you need to stop being the clown. If you feel this is a sermon needing to be preached than you my friend are welcome at my table for dinner.

Just saying!

Action Film Challenge 

& our film

DAMAGED

I am on it!

I am on it!

Never before have I felt such a desire and longing to secure the future for those around me. For the past few months I feel I have been going non-stop. School, family, and outside projects seem to fill every waking moment. I tend to come home for a moment and see my wife just as I am leaving again. 

Yup! That look comes out and I spot it in the corner of her eye! She won’t say anything because we signed up for this and she knows we are working now to enjoy later. The problem is, that there are those around me that just don’t see the same things I do.  Or, perhaps, they just don’t have the same passion for the vision that I do. Either way it is hard to work with those that don’t get it.

Maybe it is because I am older or maybe because I have seen way more than a 36 year old should but either way my passion outshines 99% of them. So far there is one kid (I say that loosely) he is 19 but he has the drive of a 30 year old and the ability to compete with anyone he chooses. He reads, he studies, he competes and he does not whine about what he is doing and nor does he ask for a day off. He is jumping ahead of classes and securing his ability to gain knowledge faster than those around him. Hell, to be honest I look up to him! Never before have I seen such hunger in a young man and never before have I been so impressed.

This is not to say I do not get frustrated with him or even want to strangle him at times. I will say however that I have learned more from this young man than anyone else in a long time. Facts be told my mentor (my father) had me at times wanting to strangle him too. I feel it is the nature of learning. In order to truly respect it you almost need to despise the vessel from which it is being dispensed. My father and I argued yet we always took time to hear what was said. I thank him for beating the issue of respect in me because today I am able to respect someone 17 years my junior.

So why all this explanation of work, work, work, and the slacker with which I am working with.

To be perfectly honest… SALES

On July 15^th a movie that this young man and I made will be on the screen in Tampa, Fl.  Here is the address!

The Screening

11am - 5pm

Sunday, July 15th, 2012

Tampa Pitcher Show

14416 N. Dale Mabry Highway, Tampa, FL - (813) 963-0578

I have a lot of passion for this project only because it is truly my first project outside of school that I have undertaken. This film has been a huge learning experience and I feel this will be the mark that I hold all other personal productions to. So please feel free to come out and support your local filmmaker and student while you are entertained by 20 other films as well.

This is the criteria we had to follow.

1.            30 days to write, shoot, edit, and deliver your 10 minute film
(* at least 10 minutes, but no longer than 15 minutes including credits.)

2.            Any Genre – at least (1) Action scene

3.            Must include each and every unique character, line of dialogue, prop, and situation specified on the first day of the challenge.

4.            Films must be no higher than PG-13
(no nudity, no drug usage, no sex scenes, language appropriate for PG-13)
[To spell it out - the only foul language acceptable is "Hell and Damn"]
Your film has to meet the criteria to be broadcast on local television.

I want to thank you. Between this film (Damaged) and The Magic Voice, to be aired soon we are pushing our craft hard. I am looking forward to doing great things with this young man and I am sure you will look forward to the finished product.

Until next time…

I OWE YOU

Wow! 

Where does the time go?

A month ago I was beginning two new classes and was completely unaware that my life was about to get crazy. I knew I was directing our Documentary but I would soon find out I was also Directing a very ambitious Advanced Lighting Project.

The Documentary piece alone was to prove a challenge being that we just so happened upon a great cause and somehow agreed to extend it beyond the class criteria. The ALI project was a thing of horror all together.

My classmate and partner in what is yet to be started production house (Collaborative Alchemy) if you were wondering, had this grand Idea to embark upon a project of great stature. With grand dreams of becoming a sought after Director of Photography, Patrick had me formulate a story based on his vision of light.

HUH!!!???

Yes, I said that too!!

Yet, there we were with story and vision in hand and picked to do this project in class. We embark on the preproduction, production and edit in a matter of a week, while we also fit in a shoot date for Documentary and some other class time. I am sure your muscles were sore just hearing that. Ours were.

Day after day the weeks began to progress and we pulled off  what our instructor said was the most ambitious project he has seen in a while with the most hard working preproduction crew he has ever seen in his 12 years teaching his class. [side note (thanks Mom for instilling that drive to succeed no matter what, and thank you Patrick for being driven and ambitious.)]

The chaos slowed and the classes ended and our grades came to reflect our work and our satisfaction soared. Then the phone rang…

While out working on our Documentary we were approached to possibly do a shoot for a local model. Now, I typically do not put much stock in others saying they are going to do X, Y, & Z yet, we have a meeting tomorrow with these very people, and they have a strong vision for the project and a timeline of when they want it done. That screams payment! NOW!!

Lets dig a little deeper. I have also taken on another project this month outside of our regularly scheduled classes, PLURAL! There is a local challenge that is taking place this month for Filmmakers to produce a ten minute short in thirty days. 30 days to write, shoot, edit, & export.  I have the great honor of working with hand picked individuals of my choosing. I have watched these guys and admired the work they do and attitude they maintain while working. In my head I was assembling this team months ago for a project just like this. I am honored they agreed, and the challenge kicks off today.

To top it all off, and how could this get any better really? I get a call this week from a guy I met and pitched a business plan to months ago. We have been in regular contact since then and slowly building upon this business idea and the effect it could have on the entertainment industry. I answer the phone and I hear him ask me if I would be willing to come to Cincinnati to direct a music video.

UHH!! YEAH!!

So here I am; HUMBLED to say the least. If you are willing to listen to those around you and step out into the great unknown and no matter what give it everything….

IT ALL COMES BACK TO YOU EVENTUALLY! You reap what you sow!!

All that to say thank you once again.

Thank You, Thank You,  Thank You,  Thank You,  Thank You,  Thank You,  Thank You,  Thank You,  Thank You,  Thank You,  Thank You,  Thank You,  Thank You,  Thank You,  Thank You,  Thank You,  Thank You,  Thank You,  Thank You,  Thank You,  Thank You,  Thank You,  Thank You,  Thank You, Thank You,  Thank You,  Thank You,  Thank You,  Thank You,  Thank You,  Thank You,  Thank You,  Thank You,  Thank You,  Thank You,  Thank You,  & THANK YOU AGAIN!!! That is one for every year I have been alive!

Without you I would have never made it this far. You guys are the reason I have had the strength to make it and deal with the stress. I will forever be in your debt and forever be thankful for everything you have done to get me here.

Not sure if I am talking about you?

 Yes, I am! If you are reading this then you are an important part of my life and care enough to have read everything this far and for that I thank you. I pray you continue to read and watch from here on out.

Love you all.

Who are we?

Who Are WE??

A long time ago I answered this same question. And, Yes it was a long time ago! In fact it was over a decade ago and I can pin point the day I just don’t feel like dating myself or going into too much background. If you want the skinny and care that much; I will give you the personal account.  Over lunch!

I knew who I was and knew where I was going!

Now!?

Not so sure. In fact I am at a crossroads.

I have three kids, a wonderful wife, a widowed mother and I lost my father and best friend. Yes the last two are completely separate. I love my mother and my father is now not able to take care of her like he did for 38 years so it does separate things a bit.

The facts are that life changes and with life… We change!

I quit smoking!

I quit working!

I am invested in three children who look up to me to make them independent and successful.

Life is full of change and stress!

So who am I?

I know more about myself today than I have ever known my 36 years in existence!

So why the hell am I still scared?!

I feel that the truth of all of us, is the fear of change. I am willing to face my change head on and see my flaws. This is scary!  I am flawed and I need help. Yes I need help!

Recently I was shown some invaluable lessons by a young man of the age of 19!

Talk about Humbling!

Yet here I am, an unemployed 36 year old student scared to death of the change that is taking place in my life and the 80 or so teen and twentysomethings that are surrounding him!

I am scared that I am going to fail. Lose everything and have to start all over again… Yet I am still here! I am honestly working at making it happen!

Most important, I am giving it a chance to succeed!

So, I am a success because, I gave it a chance!

I guess; the real question is will success give me a chance?

Well, Will it???

Countdown 365 Begins

COUNTDOWN 365

NARROWING THE FOCUS

A little over a year ago I embarked on a journey of change and went back to school at the ripe young age of 35. My choice of degree programs has made me keenly aware that in order to become successful, and continue my learning from industry professionals I must alter my base location. I have been in contact with numerous individuals who are currently immersed in the film industry and all of them have been unanimous in helping me understand that a move is inevitable.  

In thinking about the inevitability of moving my Family of six I begin to get dizzy. A year ago when we had begun this journey my wife and I moved closer to Full Sail in order to aid the task of taking care of young children. That was a feat with a pregnant wife and two kids. Now we have added a child and are embarking on a move across the continent: literally a move from coast to coast. Years ago I might have tried this by myself and possibly succeeded. Today I am wiser and more aware that this could just kill me.  So, I am doing my research and making some plans and most of all asking for help.

Did he just say help? Yes, yes I did! Go figure! Hell, it only took the boy 36 years to finally admit he needs help. I get it! I get it! I am asking now.

The wise words are sinking in and here I am a humbled man asking nay, begging for help.

So lets cut the crap and get to the point. Starting March 29^th I will be inviting everyone to My Foundation Group. I recognize and understand that you are the foundation and strength behind me. The only reason I have made it this far is because of you, and those like you, who found it necessary to invest in me. During this time I will be asking you for all sorts of help like West Coast contacts and housing information. 


My list of needs to follow in the coming post. For now, pass it along and get your friends involved.

Thanks guys. Much Love

FEAR & CHANGE

So here I am. Scared! Terrified of embarking upon a new journey. Yes the excitement is there and I can feel that twinge of adrenaline, yet I still feel like failing will kill me.

If you have ever felt this than you are just like everyone else on this planet. We all fear one thing or another. Some of us just know how to work through it or have worked on it enough that it is a normal feeling.

Do It! Get up off your butt and start changing your life.

I smoked for about 25 years. Yep this 35 year old man had been smoking two thirds of his life.

I remember my first smoke like I remember the birth of my daughter 10 months ago. We were living in a townhouse, 9048 Silver Maple Ct. in Manassas, VA.  My neighbor next door was a little older and he and his buddies would all skateboard around the hood. I thought they were so cool.

One day I followed them to the area behind the row of townhomes into the thicket of brush next to the tree line. As I lost them in the thick I quickly followed the voices and the tunnel that suddenly opened up to my eyes. Then, there they were, drinking Boones Farm wine and smoking.

I am sure you get the hint and the outcome was of course 25 years of addiction to nicotine. My point however is I quit 4 months ago.

I have been trying to quit smoking for years! Decades! And I all of a sudden got scared to death after a comment my Father made to me while dying from cancer. It scared me so bad I am still haunted by it today.

It scared me more than the fear of change!

So here I am again.

Wanting to change and scared to.

Yet, I do not see any other option because I am more scared of not succeeding. I can see more failure in not trying than I can in failing.

So, this is the new me! A better me! I refuse to allow the world to scare me into another addiction. One of fear.

Been there!

Done that!

Doing it different, and making a change! 

In The Beginning

It is interesting the way our lives play out! One min we are doing the hum drum while the next min our whole world can change. Many people live a whole life in a box and never venture beyond their fears while others just accept the world for what it will throw at them and spit it back asking for more.

I am the latter. Never one to sit and settle into a routine I find my world to be too full of opportunity. So much opportunity that I in fact often get distracted and lost in my own world. Projects go unfinished and people often neglected due to my own world of opportunity.

Today my world changes. Today like most of the past year and past decade I am instituting a new personal rule.

What is it? You ask.

I'll tell you.

One year.

One year to get my world narrowed down and focused on the career I plan to pursue. One year to find as many people to support me and my work. One year to build a fan base and support structure that will facilitate my entrance into the gates of the LA Film World.

There you have it folks. My one year plan not so mapped out by the day.

Now I am giving you the keys to my plan and asking you to hold me accountable to it. If you want me to write about something, hear about something or just plain want me to post something let me know. If I am not responding enough or giving enough info, LET ME KNOW!

This is the beginning of the end. When I graduate on March 29, 2013 I will be walking forth into a new world. The old me will shed its skin and step forth renewed and inspired.

This may sound odd and a few of you may notice that this particular date is of interest. March 29, 2001 was the day I embarked on a similar journey. It was my first day back to work in a job I was not familiar and a world that had suddenly changed.

Many of you helped me then and I am asking that you help me now. Look to the future and follow my blogs, comment and create a thread we can converse on. I am here because of you! It is you that inspire me! It is you that fuels my creativity and allows me to flourish in my new world.

My whole goal is to create a fan base that will follow me and my work!

Lets do it!